I usually write about our Sunday morning worship on Mondays.  Just wanted to change things up.  Prayed earlier today for God to give me something full of insight and wisdom.  If you know Dean Herman I have to pray for anything intelligent to come out of my mouth. 

I read some of my favorite pastors blogs and I'm blown away with their wisdom and insight.  I read one today that was awesome.  I in no way take credit for the following, but I agree with every word of it. 

If you want to become friends with your pastor, here are some suggestions:

1. Don’t be pushy. Pushy people come across as needy. We minister to needy people all day. We crave friendships not more counseling appointments.

2. Don’t tell us “God told you” we’re going to be friends. He may have, but that doesn't’t work on us. Tons of people have told us that before. Friendship for us needs to happen over time, not be born because of something God told you but not us.

3. We are grateful for “gift cards.” Many pastors don’t have the financial margin to take their families out. Gift cards mean a lot.

4. We love talking to you about things besides church and the Bible. We have other interests like you.

5. We love your notes of appreciation. They mean more than you know. You have a way of sending them when we really need them. Thank you!

6. We love talking to the real you. Many people show us a spiritual front. Truthfully, we’d rather see your dark side than a fake spiritual one. Thank you for being yourself!

7. We are slow to open up. It is not because of you. We’ve been hurt many times by people who say the same things you are saying to us. Give us time.

8. If we can’t be close to you, it doesn't’t mean we don’t truly love you. We only have room for a handful of very close friends. We simply don’t have the time or energy to be close to tons of people. Please don’t take it personally.

9. Please don’t try to use our kids to get to us. We love our kids and don’t want anyone to use them. Our kids also can’t go to every kid’s birthday party from the church.

10. If we ever say “no” to you, please understand that it is very hard for us. We want to serve you. We want to minister to you. We want you to like us. Sometimes, we simply can’t do everything. We hope you understand.

11. More than anything, we want to represent Christ to you. When we let you down (and we will), we pray you will show us grace.

12. We want you to know that we value your prayers more than you will ever know.

13. When you do become our close friend, you are an answer to prayer and a gift from God!

Thoughts from Dean on this subject:

1. I've been hurt by "Friends" I trusted before.  Keep a guard up now to protect me and my family until I know you love me.

2.  My family means as much to me as yours does to you.  When I make a mistake, don't blame or take it out on them.

3.  My kids aren't perfect and I never said they we're.  They just happen to be the preacher's kids.

4.  I WILL LET YOU DOWN!  I'm just a human.  Never place so much faith in me; place it in my best friend, Jesus Christ.

5.  I love what I do and wouldn't do anything else.  I love and appreciate the real friends that I do have. 

6.  I feel so lonely at times.

7.  I wish I could be Dean at times and not what others expect.  I'm just a man totally in love with Jesus.


As you read these thoughts from another pastor and myself please understand where they come from, our hearts.  We love people and have a desire to see changed lives.  But there will always be opposition.  Hope this didn't offend anyone (even thought I know it will) because it wasn't meant to do so.