November 28, feeling Better
All day Monday I was dragging. Felt fine, just really tired. After having dinner at Michelle's I went straight to bed. Slept for an hour and half then slept great after actually going to bed. About 3:30 am Tuesday morning it hit. Tossed and turned the rest of the night in the living room floor. The stomach bug had hit. WOW! I can guarantee you I lost any weight gained during Thanksgiving. I never left the house yesterday. Went from the bed to living room floor all day. Watch a little TV and sleep a bunch. Tried to read or study and that wasn't happening. Since I began working out two years ago first time I've really been sick and hopefully the last for a while. Sorry I didn't blog but I just didn't feel like it.
I stated on Monday that I wanted to talk about a pastor's wife. Many do not understand the stress and turmoil placed on the spouse of someone in the ministry. As I write this it comes from my heart, it comes from past experiences, good and bad. I can always start another ministry, but I never want to try and start another family. So, with that in mind, here are my thoughts on Debbie's role at 5 Point.
1. I was called to pastor 5 Point, not Debbie.
I know this is a joint venture and Deb is called also, but not to be the pastor. She isn't responsible for the vision and every day adventures (and adventurous it is) as I am.
2. Deb needs to do what she is called to do and not everything else.
So many times at a church events if Debbie isn't there (which she usually is) I'm asked where she is. Now there are times people ask just because they enjoy being with Debbie, but there are other times they ask because they expect Deb to be there. I am employed by the church, not my family. Debbie is involved in several ministries:
children's church during first service, leads a woman's Bible study, counselor, ladies night out. She never misses a Sunday or Wednesday and helps wherever needed. Isn't that enough?
3. Deb shouldn't have to carry the burdens of the church.
Every time someone leaves 5 Point it literally rips my heart out. I take it so personal and the majority of the time it had nothing to do with me or the church. But, Deb knows when I'm hurting and she hurts with me.
4. Debbie has a family that comes first.
Deb's number one ministry is her family. We have three children, a son-in-law and a grand child that must come before 5 Point. And I stingily want her to take care of me.
5. Debbie should never hear your complaints.
Since people aren't man enough to come and complain to me they go to Debbie. What is up with that? If you have a gripe with me or the church, come talk to me. Never, under any circumstance should Debbie hear any complaints.
6. I will do whatever it takes to protect Deb.
There are a lot of things you could say about me or the church but don't be talking about my baby doll. You ain't ever seen 290 pounds go nuts before.
7. Debbie is human and has feelings.
Sometimes the cold heartedness of church people blows my mind. Why would anyone want to put down someone's spouse because their not getting their way. Again, this is a cowards way out. There have been times in the ministry Deb has wanted to get out, me go back to teaching school or do anything else because of people not thinking. Please help me protect Deb.
8. I have had a ministry affair on my wife and will never do again.
I love my Savior, I love this church and I'm a very hard worker. In the begging stages of 5 Point I spent entirely too much time here and not at home. This was hurting my marriage and family. Without them I don't have a ministry. If Debbie divorced me many would ask me to step down as pastor. I have to make sure that never happens. This doesn't give me a free pass not to work hard, but we all need to look at how many hours we're putting in at home, our first ministry.
I stated on Monday that I wanted to talk about a pastor's wife. Many do not understand the stress and turmoil placed on the spouse of someone in the ministry. As I write this it comes from my heart, it comes from past experiences, good and bad. I can always start another ministry, but I never want to try and start another family. So, with that in mind, here are my thoughts on Debbie's role at 5 Point.
1. I was called to pastor 5 Point, not Debbie.
I know this is a joint venture and Deb is called also, but not to be the pastor. She isn't responsible for the vision and every day adventures (and adventurous it is) as I am.
2. Deb needs to do what she is called to do and not everything else.
So many times at a church events if Debbie isn't there (which she usually is) I'm asked where she is. Now there are times people ask just because they enjoy being with Debbie, but there are other times they ask because they expect Deb to be there. I am employed by the church, not my family. Debbie is involved in several ministries:
children's church during first service, leads a woman's Bible study, counselor, ladies night out. She never misses a Sunday or Wednesday and helps wherever needed. Isn't that enough?
3. Deb shouldn't have to carry the burdens of the church.
Every time someone leaves 5 Point it literally rips my heart out. I take it so personal and the majority of the time it had nothing to do with me or the church. But, Deb knows when I'm hurting and she hurts with me.
4. Debbie has a family that comes first.
Deb's number one ministry is her family. We have three children, a son-in-law and a grand child that must come before 5 Point. And I stingily want her to take care of me.
5. Debbie should never hear your complaints.
Since people aren't man enough to come and complain to me they go to Debbie. What is up with that? If you have a gripe with me or the church, come talk to me. Never, under any circumstance should Debbie hear any complaints.
6. I will do whatever it takes to protect Deb.
There are a lot of things you could say about me or the church but don't be talking about my baby doll. You ain't ever seen 290 pounds go nuts before.
7. Debbie is human and has feelings.
Sometimes the cold heartedness of church people blows my mind. Why would anyone want to put down someone's spouse because their not getting their way. Again, this is a cowards way out. There have been times in the ministry Deb has wanted to get out, me go back to teaching school or do anything else because of people not thinking. Please help me protect Deb.
8. I have had a ministry affair on my wife and will never do again.
I love my Savior, I love this church and I'm a very hard worker. In the begging stages of 5 Point I spent entirely too much time here and not at home. This was hurting my marriage and family. Without them I don't have a ministry. If Debbie divorced me many would ask me to step down as pastor. I have to make sure that never happens. This doesn't give me a free pass not to work hard, but we all need to look at how many hours we're putting in at home, our first ministry.
9. Please know Debbie loves 5 Point.
If Debbie wasn't happy being at 5 Point I couldn't be happy. We all know if Momma ain't happy no one is. Deb loves 5 Point and we have no desire to ever leave. We truly desire to see God use us and this church to change lives.
This doesn't mean that every other wife doesn't have problems. I realize all wives have a tough job. But, when you add being a pastor's wife, it can really be tough.
This doesn't mean that every other wife doesn't have problems. I realize all wives have a tough job. But, when you add being a pastor's wife, it can really be tough.
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